I want to live by myself when I move out of my parent's place but I'm really afraid of money problems? I'm afraid that the only place I can afford will be in the ghetto and it'll all be torn apart and I'll only be allowed to eat one granola bar a week. I'm really stressing out about this. I don't know anything about after school life. I don't know anything about paying bills or how to buy an apartment and it's really scaring me. is there anything you know that can help me?
Once you’ve looked over all those cool links, I have some general advice for you on how you can have some sort of support system going for you:
Reasons to move out of home
You may decide to leave home for many different reasons, including:
wishing to live independently
location difficulties – for example, the need to move closer to university
conflict with your parents
being asked to leave by your parents.
Issues to consider when moving out of home
It’s common to be a little unsure when you make a decision like leaving
home. You may choose to move, but find that you face problems you didn’t
anticipate, such as:
Unreadiness – you may find you are not quite ready to handle all the responsibilities.
Money worries – bills including rent, utilities like gas
and electricity and the cost of groceries may catch you by surprise,
especially if you are used to your parents providing for everything.
Debt may become an issue.
Flatmate problems – issues such as paying bills on time,
sharing housework equally, friends who never pay board, but stay
anyway, and lifestyle incompatibilities (such as a non-drug-user
flatting with a drug user) may result in hostilities and arguments.
Your parents may be worried
Think about how your parents may be feeling and talk with them if they
are worried about you. Most parents want their children to be happy and
independent, but they might be concerned about a lot of different
things. For example:
They may worry that you are not ready.
They may be sad because they will miss you.
They may think you shouldn’t leave home until you are married or have bought a house.
They may be concerned about the people you have chosen to live with.
Reassure your parents that you will keep in touch and visit regularly.
Try to leave on a positive note. Hopefully, they are happy about your
plans and support your decision.
Tips for a successful move
Tips include:
Don’t make a rash decision – consider the situation
carefully. Are you ready to live independently? Do you make enough money
to support yourself? Are you moving out for the right reasons?
Draw up a realistic budget – don’t forget to include
‘hidden’ expenses such as the property’s security deposit or bond
(usually four weeks’ rent), connection fees for utilities, and home and
contents insurance.
Communicate – avoid misunderstandings, hostilities and
arguments by talking openly and respectfully about your concerns with
flatmates and parents. Make sure you’re open to their point of view too –
getting along is a two-way street.
Keep in touch – talk to your parents about regular home visits: for example, having Sunday night dinner together every week.
Work out acceptable behaviour – if your parents don’t
like your flatmate(s), find out why. It is usually the behaviour rather
than the person that causes offence (for example, swearing or smoking).
Out of respect for your parents, ask your flatmate(s) to be on their
best behaviour when your parents visit and do the same for them.
Ask for help – if things are becoming difficult, don’t be too proud to ask your parents for help. They have a lot of life experience.
If your family home does not provide support
Not everyone who leaves home can return home or ask their parents for
help in times of trouble. If you have been thrown out of home or left
home to escape abuse or conflict, you may be too young or unprepared to
cope.
If you are a fostered child, you will have to leave the state-care
system when you turn 18, but you may not be ready to make the sudden
transition to independence.
If you need support, help is available from a range of community and
government organisations. Assistance includes emergency accommodation
and food vouchers. If you can’t call your parents or foster parents,
call one of the associations below for information, advice and
assistance.
Where to get help
Your doctor
Kids Helpline Tel. 1800 55 1800
Lifeline Tel. 13 11 44
Home Ground Services Tel. 1800 048 325
Relationships Australia Tel. 1300 364 277
Centrelink Crisis or Special Help Tel. 13 28 50
Tenants Union of Victoria Tel. (03) 9416 2577
Things to remember
Try to solve any problems before you leave home. Don’t leave because
of a fight or other family difficulty if you can possibly avoid it.
Draw up a realistic budget that includes ‘hidden’ expenses,
such as bond, connection fees for utilities, and home and contents
insurance.
Remember that you can get help from a range of community and government organizations.
One of the main reasons why you don’t make progress or why you are stuck in the vicious cycle of procrastination is the lack of courage to take that one small imperfect step. The more you are fixated on the end result, the less likely you are actually going to do something to achieve it.
A case in point of this so called ‘phenomenom’ is when you keep putting of you essay for a class you are taking. You keep convincing yourself that you have lots and lots of time to write it and suddenly your deadline is tomorrow. What do you usually do in these kinds of situations? I bet you usually open a new document and just start writing something, a quick draft, because you think you just need to get something done. In other words, you are actually just taking an imperfect step towards your end goal, which in this case is a finished essay. When you’ve taken your imperfect step, you often get this flow and just keep working and working until you are satisfied with your input. It seems surprisingly simple, right?
To summarise everything, you need to stop being so focused on the end result. The process is the most important part of your work and you can always edit and work on it later. An imperfect step is the most important step and more people need to realise this. If you have a long list of things to do or deadlines to meet, then just decide to start somewhere. Make that awful draft, scribble down something, make a mistake, just do something. Sooner or later, you are going to notice that you’ve made a great deal of progress. These imperfect steps are what you need in your life.
“Our biggest demand would be for the president and administration to issue a public statement in response to the affirmation action article to support students of color, and say why they value diversity on campus.”
